My first time blogging using my tablet, kinda not used to it. Oooooh well, it all started with me having a long chat with my friend after work, today - relationship issues. Seriously, I'm the last person on earth that people wanna talk to me about this issue. But somehow people just come. Then, it triggers me on mine.

One question my friend asked me, "Why can't I let go?". I really don't know how to put my thoughts into words. It's more like, I feel it is such a waste that the relationship ends without any effort putting in to salvage it. I believe that if it is any other guy, it is easily salvage. But it just didn't go this way. Such a waste.

Then, he said, I must had really loved him. As he never sees me like this before. I was always the bubbly one in the office. Nobody can see the sorrow in me, nobody even realized I cried. He strongly believe until now, everyone is still misunderstanding of what kindaI girl am I. It's ok, how can I expect people to know the real me when my own dearest don't? *ironic*

Disappointed on how things go. Disappointed on how it ended. Disappointed on all the ungiven effort to salvage the one precious thing for both of us. At the end of the day, life goes on. We have to face the ugly truth!

 

Luv,

*rachelle*

PBB 46th Annual Dinner 2012

Finally, after 2 months of bruises and hardworks, it all ended with the night. Disappointed that we did not won champion for the competition for the memories are all worth it. Not to mention the friends I made during the journey. I will not trade anything for you guys!!~ "FROM THE TOP!"

  TEAM 1 : The Wizard of Oz!!!

  We went through recording for our voices and our songs....

 
The choreographer, Jojo & Rich gave us lollipop for our workdone, before our 1st preview to Head of Public Affairs Division.

We celebrated Kenny's birthday, our team leader. (like a dozens of time......)

  Photoshoot for prize winning.

  Group photoshoot.

On the day itself, when we are getting ready for our makeup and hairdo. Anxiety attacking us.

  Cindy participated in the Samba dress theme.

  My turn for makeup & hairdo!!

  My first costume for Scene 1.

It's huge and heavy.

 
3 munchkins hide inside my dress and 1 guy had to carry me.

  Close-up by Philip.

  Felicia who came to support us.

  Juliet & *moi* in my finale costume.

  Sam & *moi*

  Alan, the bully.

  Chew, IS specialist.

  Philip, who loves to edit funny notes on my picciess.

 
And I always laugh at this piccie of Andy & *moi* Vince had no skill in photographing at all!!

 
Finally, FOOD!!!~

  Met Kenneth and & Chris at the corridor.

  Oswald, the scarecrow without a brain.

 
Junho & Rachel Tan

  Pei Yee & *moi*

  Chen, my SAM.

  Head Office - Management Audit!!

 
Rachel Ong, finally her turn to be the usherette. I can't wait for next year when I can sit down, eat, and snap picciess!!~

 
I won table draw!!!~ Samsung Blu-ray Player!! but i don't have a tv, so am gonna give to my mom.

 
Eventhough we did not won champion, but we are the most favorites among all. So, it's ok.

 
The next day is our team's appreciation dinner. Pajamas theme by the pool! Thanks, Gary for picking me up and got lost yourself.

  I love my team!!~

  They are awesome!!

 
Last Thursday was our official appreciation dinner organised by Public Affairs Division. Stephanie (Dorothy), Niki & *moi*

  Steph & *moi*

  Gary & *moi*

  James a.k.a The Lion.....

  Fatty Mark...

  Eugene, the one that I unintentionally hurt his neck

  Vince.....

  Arif, the flying monkey....

  Panjang, the wicked witch's favorite...

  Apek, my favorite munchkins! & Victoria Secret walk....

  Wan, the funny silat haunted tree...

  Ranjit....

  Rickyy, my costume designer....

  Rich, the hardcore trainer.

  Last but not least, Jojo, my choreographer.

  Boon Boon, from Mamma Mia's team

  Mi hermana.....

  Thinking of cropping Boon Boon out

After appreciation dinner, Steph, Gary and *moi* head to Changkat for 2nd round and then to Zouk. Amazingly I met Mamma Mia team in Zouk, as all of them already applied annual leave or emergency leave. However, it was a fun night, until the next day I was like a walking zombie, and I practically feel like taking MC for the sake of my sleep. Not funny at all!!! I think I can declare old already.

Anyhoo, done with all my events, and now I'm anticipating for my trips!!~ Finally decided to stop waiting and hoping for the rain to fall during the drought. Hopeless and disappointing.

Luv,
*rachelle*

Universal Studio, Singapore & Phuket, Thailand!!

Finally, I am logging in to my blog again. I don't know how long will be at hiatus anymore. But I am still active in Twitter and Instagram. Like I mentioned on my previous blog 2 months ago. I went to Universal Studio with my colleague, Pei Yee and then, off to Phuket with Rachel, Juliet and Charlie.

Somehow these trips really helps me a lil' bit on letting go. I begin to learn that I really need a break right now. I need some time for this scar to heal. I'm just not ready. Now probably I need to get over it!!

And start worrying about my performance for annual dinner!!!~ Bruises on my legs.

Pictures from Universal Studio!!!~

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Phuket Trip!!~

 

 

Luv,
*rachelle*

Hiatus, hiatus, hiatus!

Yeapz, I had been missing for almost 3 months already. Lotsa depressing stuff happened, but let's just drop that. I think I haven't been uploading pictures much as well, since Chinese New Year? Okies, let's start bits by bits. Gonna upload all the pictures from Chinese New year until my Phuket trip. Ooooh yea, I just came back from Phuket yesterday!!!~ *awesome trip*

Start of with Chinese New Year, when I went to Kek Lok Si for the first time during the night time.

 

Then, I went and watch the hot air balloon, but somehow they didn't come back.

 

Last but not least, my Kuching weekend gateaway.

   

 

 

 

Next entry will be the universal studio and phuket!!~

Luv,
*rachelle*

"I have never love you less" is the phrase you used to tell me. Feelings faded. Before you even realize it, your words are more hurtful than pure annoyance. Is it better if we go back to when we first met, when we both do not care much about each other? Will we be much more happier? Is that what you want? I'm really thinking, whether how long can I stand the way you treat me. I admit, no one has ever treat me like you did before. For once I was showered with love, care and attention. Which makes it even more obvious now that you do the otherwise.

You said you do not know what am I thinking now, what do I want now. But it hasn't changed. Why do you have to hurt me so? You do know what do I concern of. All this while, I'm taking you as someone i can share my feelings with, and you know how I feel. But why?

When we first met after my resignation from the firm, 3 years had past. We were both outstation for work. Things were funny and fun. We drank, we played games, we danced and we sang to the live band. We spent the whole night together. 2 days later, before you left, we met up again for dinner. Things were happy as it seems. We spent another night together. I didn't believe that we will still keep in touch after you flew back. We began to talk and share stuff about ourselves. We acknowledged our differences.

A month later, I went back. You picked me up from the airport, and you bought me my favorite ice cream and dessert. You brought me for a nice dinner I'd been craving for. Honestly, I feel awkward. Because I thought what happened during the outstation trip stays there. We continue to go out every now and then, until my next outstation trip.

There was when we had our first argument. Now think about it, you were so cute. You were so down and you practically hurt yourself and spend unnecessary money (which makes me upset later that I knew). From then, I know that, "Wow, this guy might really like me a lot." You came over twice to visit me, and the second time was after I job. You just picked me up and we went to our first holiday together.

I guess all I wanna do is just rest and sleep, after all the work. But it's also the first time when I told you that I had fallen for you. I wish we had more holidays together. We began to make plan for us. We talked a lot, shared lots of stuff together, we compromised, and you decided to make the biggest decision in your life, just so we can be together. I was shocked and I don't know what to do. All I know is to stand by you when you needed someone.myou used to talk to me, but not anymore.

I always remember our second argument was the funniest of all. It wasn't even an argument!! You thought I was upset and did not answer your call, but actually I was at the spa!! You even used your friend's phone to call me. LOL! Eventually, more arguments came up. We assume on each other, we began to feel insecure, and unintentionally, I was pushing you to the corner. When all I needed to know is where I stand.

When someone is able to make you feel the happiest, they can also make you feel worse than devastated. We had so many happy moments together, which I will cherish it. I don't know when did I start to fall so deeply in love with you, that I'm no longer willing to let you go. But eventually I still needs to, not I want to.

Just re-watched Strangers, Again by Wong Fu Production. So true!!! Wanted to share the link embedded code here but I can seems to find it through iPad. =_=" Been thinking a lot lately, after so many incident that happened. What should I do? I really don't know. At least I do know what do I want. But still it always takes two.

I'm really confuse right now. Where do I stand? All I need to know is the wait is worthwhile. If that is so difficult for you to answer, then I already know the answer. I don't wanna bare the time of hurt and pain when I can feel you change and distance yourself. Why do I need to go through this when we don't even know when can we begin.

Everyone is tired. Quarrels, misunderstanding, assumptions, tears, pain. When someone makes to feel the happiest ever, can also make you feel worst than being devastated. I did something out of my own expectation. I begin to regret this and question myself. Why?

Macau Family Trip 28122011 - 31122011

Super, super tiring trip, which involves a LOT of walking. But it's all worth it! ^_^ At least I won HKD 400 from the slot machine!  

  I can't read chinese.... T_T

  Let my mom do the ordering....

  *my gentle side* BAHAHAHAHAHA!!!~

  

  

  I want pork burger!

  
I need to confess!

  Biblioteca!

  Kiss Booth!

 

  Dinner time!

 
Finally got my Pork Burger!!!~ and bubble milk tea!!

 
I like those hats! But why is it so large!

 

  Senado Square - SHOPPING!

 
Local beer!!!~

  Shopping at Galaxy & Venitian

   

  

  

  

Luv,
*rachelle*

Lazy-bum's Update

As usual, the lazy-bum will just summarised everything in an entry. After my KK trip, it's another month of audit back in Penang. First time doing CAC, and I hope I'm doing more CAC instead of SDC & CCC!!~ Less complication. HEHEHE!

Brindha's Wedding (1st time wearing saree!!~ and yesh, it took me forever to fit inside that saree. )

  Head Office, Internal Audit

  Sue Fei & Juliet

  Mohan, PBCSS and *moi*

  My credit expert Team Leader, Gan.

  My credit master SAM, Chen

Finally I've gotten the picciess of Bukit Tinggi & Pangkor from you-know-who-you-are

 

  Love the rabbitsss!!~ *usagi, usagi, usagi*

  ^_^ I love this picciess....

  The arse is biting my arse!

  Konon!

  (*hmmmmmm* Maybe I should change my FB piccie)

 

 

CNY 2012 Dinner with PBB Colleagues

  Salmon Lou Sang

 
Me hungry face!!

  Head Office, Internal Audit 80s' & 70s'

 

  

 

K-I-S-S-!!~ (Quoted by Kay7 : Keep It Short & Sweet) Going back to KL soon. *urgh* Hate reality. Then I have to rush for deadlines again.

Luv,
*rachelle*

Sad-ness

Blogging is a way to express yourself in words that you can't say it out to the one you intended to. Feeling all heartbroken right now, just like any other time that we quarrel. I guess for the rest of today, we wouldn't know what the others are doing. Typically, he will just think I'll go out party, drink, and then hooked up with some guys and forget about everything else. (Yeapz, that's what people think about me! ^^) Then, I'll be thinking he's out smoking and drinking his heart out and spending unnecessary money, and I got nothing to say about it.

Seriously, if 2 people are so insecure about each other, why do they still wanna hold on to something not solid? And end up, both crying over and over again, over the same thing, on every argument. I guess now, sorry don't mean anything anymore. All we do is to shoot at each others' words. It's too late to hold back on the feelings poured. 2 silly people do not appreciate each other. ^^

Everything seems so fake right now, even the way we talk to each other. Why? LOL! By the end of the day, the proplem is still me. Same ol', same ol'. I guess I was right to not start anything at the first place. But why did I ended up in the same mistakes I did before. Did we not tell each other what we want? But I guess I asked for the impossible (as usual...LOL). It's really difficult to find someone who is 100% to you. In my case, no one can give me 100% of their feelings, except my parents. It's always have to be shared. ^^

The stupidest thing is we both want each other so much that we're afraid to put in 100%. LOL! Which is a good thing, because it means we love ourselves more. When will all this heartache be over??...................